THEMES THAT YOU LIKE

🔥🔥

resiniquity:

isitthattimealready:

today at work a customer’s card didn’t go through so I asked them to try again and it worked that time and I mixed up saying “there we go” and “there it goes” and I ended up saying “there we goes" and I just

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why is this so funny i almost pissed myself laughing for the better part of 5 minutes

(Source: multi-purpose-tool-guy, via perks-of-being-chinese)

pemsylvania:

pemsylvania:

pemsylvania:

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41 people are ready for me to gnome this chick

this is my 4th day gnoming her

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they set up a camera

(via phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess)

curlicuecal:

curlicuecal:

millennial-review:

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i had to look up the monocle republican and i was not disappointed

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hot take

(via phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess)

plaidasaurus:

this one time I ran a red light on mistake and I didn’t notice it was red until it was too late so I just ran the light screeching like an angry pterodactyl the entire time

a cop was at the intersection so he pulled me over and when he came up to my window he was wheezing cause he was laughing so hard and he said

“ok so i know you ran a red light and that’s really bad and you should never do it again but i’m not gonna give you a ticket cause that was the funniest thing i’ve ever seen and my partner can’t get out of the car cause he’s laughing so hard he’s about to pee himself”

i forgot that i’d had my window open when i ran the red light and the cop told me that all he heard from my car was this really high-pitched “screeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

and that’s how i got out of getting a ticket for running a red light

(via thebootydiaries)

smeliot:

maphatingcharacteroftheday:

dove-discourse:

she-rando:

princessnijireiki:

tumblr purged all the map / pedo positivity tags too lmaoooo 🥂🎉

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Originally posted by dannybshank

WE POPPIN THE BIGGEST BOTTLES 2NIGHT 

delicious. finally, some good fucking site.

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Originally posted by usedpimpa

YEAAAAAAAAA

(via phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess)

zsnes:

snarthurt:

frogmunist:

I’m sure this has been asked before but would vampires drink period blood, and more importantly would the clumps just be a bonus for them?

ever had bubble tea?

im going to hurt all of you im going to hit both of you with a heavy rock

(via phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess)